Resiliency: The Art of Bouncing Back

Just for clarification, the Veteran Muscle blog is dedicated to leadership development.  Every blog that I post, in some way, shape, or form, will be dedicated to developing your leadership skills.  Some blogs may be very “on the nose” while others, you might have to apply some leg work to really dig out the meaning (and I attribute that to misinterpreting what I’m trying to say due to lack of verbal cues). A lot of the blogs will be “recycled”, but with different stories/scenarios.  With that being said, today’s blog will be about resiliency and dealing with adversity.

STORY TIME: The Interview That Stung

As I approach graduation in Fall 2025, I’ve been applying to different organizations.  My primary goal isn’t just to land a job, it’s to gain interview experience, especially in IT.

A few weeks ago, I went through the whole song and dance with what I believed was a promising opportunity: a government IT Specialist position for a city.  Initially, I thought I was wildly underqualified, but to my surprise, they reached out for an interview over Teams.

I was certain I had bombed it.  But, once again, to my surprise, they invited me for a follow-up.  This time, in person.

I felt really good walking out of that conference room…right up until I saw the other candidate.  He fit the stereotypical IT nerd mold perfectly.  Now, I’m not throwing shade here, just expressing my thought process.  A better way to put it?  He looked like he had the necessary experience.

Even though I felt good about my performance, it wasn’t enough.  I didn’t make the final cut.

This one stung.

I had studied my ass off for these interviews.  But, in hindsight, I studied the wrong things.  The company was looking for experience, something my resume clearly didn’t showcase.

Failure: The Best Resiliency Training There Is

If there’s one thing I have plenty of experience in, it’s failure.  But more importantly, I know how to deal with it.

I’ve done more resiliency training than I can count – both in life and in structured military settings.  And if there’s one thing the Army loves, it’s resiliency training (even if it comes in the form of death-by-PowerPoint).

The truth is, resiliency and goal setting go hand in hand.  Every time you set a goal, work toward it, and either achieve it or fall short, but regardless you’re building mental toughness.  Success reinforces confidence, but failure strengthens character.  When you miss the mark, you’re forced to adapt, reassess, and push forward with a new approach. 

What I’m trying to say is, adversity doesn’t have to be just “big” setbacks like getting fired, losing a loved one, not getting a new contract, etc.  Coming up short of a goal, in its own way, also serves the same purpose.

Let’s say you aimed to lose 10 lbs. for summer.  However, you only lost 5.  Not that big of a deal, right?  What you do is assess your plan.  Where did you fall short?  Maybe your caloric deficit wasn’t enough or maybe your workouts weren’t intense enough.  Whatever the case, you figure it out, you adjust, and re-execute.

Now, apply that same logic to “bigger” setbacks.  Don’t let them eat at you.  Sure, take some time to dwell (AKA feeling sorry for yourself).  Then get right back to work. 

This cycle – set a goal, take action, adjust, repeat – is what builds resiliency over time.  You don’t become mentally tough by avoiding challenges; you become mentally tough by facing them head-on and refusing to quit.

As for that job position, it sure as hell wasn’t my first loss, and it won’t be my last.  But here’s the thing about resiliency: it’s not about avoiding failure – it’s about refusing to let failure define you.

So, I’ll keep pushing forward.  I’ll keep refining my skills, learning from my mistakes, and preparing for the next opportunity.  Because if there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that resiliency isn’t just about bouncing back – it’s about coming back stronger.