The Empathetic Leader


Intro

I want to preface this article by stating two points:

  1. You don’t have to be in a leadership position in order to be a leader.  Leaders will lead and show their traits regardless of the position they are in.
  2. I can’t express this enough, I am not a subject matter expert in leadership development.  This is just me rambling on with random, yet slightly formatted, thoughts.

As part of my degree, I’m currently taking Oral/Interpersonal Communication which focuses on “developing effective listening techniques and verbal and nonverbal communication skills through oral presentation, group activity, and other projects.” We recently went over a section that discusses listening. More specifically, empathetic listening. This lesson got me thinking about a particular style of leadership: The Empathetic Leader.

In the last article I posted, (yes, many, many moons ago) I discussed leadership traits; the essential qualities that make you a leader.  Now, for the record, I don’t have a step by step guide on how to be a leader.  I’m also not slinging mud at the wall hoping something sticks.  Although, you sling enough mud at the wall, inevitably something will stick.  Nevertheless, this is not the case.  This leadership style has always been near and dear to my heart so I have some legitimate thoughts and opinions on it.

There is a fine line between empathy and sympathy.  Do you know the difference?  The layman’s version is this: empathy is the ability to understand and share the feelings of another person, putting yourself in their shoes, while sympathy involves feeling compassion or pity for someone’s situation without necessarily experiencing or understanding their emotions firsthand.  It is crucial, especially as a leader, that you understand the difference.  These two words are used interchangeably when the reality is that they carry vastly different meanings.  For all intents and purposes, we will be focusing on empathy for the remainder of this article.

What does being an empathetic leader entail?  Empathetic leadership emphasizes understanding, supporting, and being sensitive to the feelings and perspectives of team members.  I don’t have any supporting documentation or references, but from my experience, both executing it and seeing it, leaders who practice empathy build stronger relationships, create more inclusive and collaborative environments, and inspire loyalty and motivation in their teams.  There are a few characteristics that make up an empathetic leader: active, listening, emotional intelligence, support and trust, adaptability, and compassion and care.

Active Listening

Look, as I’ve been learning these past few weeks, there is a rabbit hole of listening that we can dive into, but I’d rather not.  We will cover different styles of listening throughout different articles.  Maybe. When it comes to active listening, leaders are paying close attention to what others say, showing that you as a leader value their perspective.  Once you begin to develop your active listening skills, you will realize that active listening starts before you actually receive the message.  Active listening pairs “outwardly visible behaviors with cognitive listening practices.” (5.3 Improving Listening Competence)

Emotional Intelligence

Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognize, understand, manage, and influence both your own emotions and the emotions of others.  It encompasses skills like self-awareness, self-regulation, empathy, motivation, and social skills, all of which contribute to effective communication, strong relationships, and sound decision-making.  It takes a lot of effort and time to develop emotional intelligence.  In my opinion, the most difficult part to his characteristic is being able to manage your own emotions.

Support and Trust

Empathetic leaders provide support, create a sense of trust, and encourage openness within the team.  Your job as a leader in the Army, specifically as an NCO, is to take care of your soldiers (amongst other things like coach, council, mentor, and train).  This means actively providing assistance, resources, encouragement, and guidance.  In doing so, you’re helping your soldiers to succeed and thus building trust.

Diving a bit deeper into trust, leaders have to demonstrate consistency, fairness, and openness. Trustworthy leaders keep their promises, communicate transparently, and empower their team members to take responsibility without micromanaging. Understandably, a lot of times the unit or the company dictates the level of promises you’re able to keep. So don’t go writing checks you can’t cash. I digress. Executing the aforementioned, creates a culture of psychological safety, where people feel confident sharing ideas, makin good decisions, and even making mistakes, knowing they are supported by the team and the leaders.

Adaptability

Adaptability can be very difficult for certain leaders and I think we’ve all been witness to it. Being an adaptive leader means you understand individual needs and therefore allows you to adjust your leadership approach to different situations or people. This is a topic in which we will dive deeper later on.

Compassion and Care

Being a compassionate and caring leader means you are able to demonstrate concern for any one of your team members’ well-being and are willing to help when one of them are struggling.

Outro

In conclusion, as you venture off to develop your leadership traits keep the sympathetic leader in mind. You don’t have to lean to one specific style of leadership. You can take from different styles and construct your own. At the end of the day, if you fail to take anything from this article take this, give a damn about your team. That’s a good place to start.

See you on the next hilltop.


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